January 29, 2009

hey everyone!!!
omg it has been forever like for real. i havent really even remembered my blog till i got a request from mrs gus to see her blog and then i was like omg my blog needs to be updated. so much has happened in the last 2 months, way too much for one post. so i will skip everything until now. well... school is going good i guess. i am not really a fan of school so its just blah too me. friends are pretty much the only reason i get up in the morning. i really love my schedule this smemster though. i have 3 classes with mrs gus which is AMAZING cuz i love her lol. but yah. this past week has been really hard for me... kinda been going through a lot. mostly with a guy. i learned that its really hard to pretend like you dont care anymore. especially when you thought you loved that person. today was the first day i saw him since we broke up. i thought things would be totally horrible and i would cry, but surprisingly things were much better than expected. he just treated me the same as always except minus the holding hands and kissing. it was kinda awkward since usually when we break up he totally ignores me which bugs the crap out of me. but it was just normal. he almost lit me on fire which was scary yet kinda hilarious at the same time. i am trying to get over him all the way, although i feel like a loser cuz he crushed my heart and i still like him. lame i know. i want to write one of my poems on here from english... with mrs gus.. who is amazing lol... ok but dont laugh at it...

my ipod is my happiness
the screen is my memory
the earphones block out the bad
the turner changes my mood
the color is wild, crazy, and random
the play button pauses my emotions
the lock helps me focuz
and pushes away all my thoughts
the music is my emotion
the lyrics are my sadness
the pictures are my joy
my ipod is my world

well i thought i did a pretty good job writing that lol... with some help from mrs gus. i just wanna give a quick shout out to all my friends. you guys are so amazing i love you all so much!!! thank you for always being there for me and trying to make me smile when i need it the most. thanks for hating every guy that breaks my heart and thanks for saying you will punch him in the face if he ever comes near me again. just the simple things you guys do for me makes my day!!! i love you all!!!!
another shout out to my family. mom thanks for always letting me crawl in your bed when i am sad. thanks for being wild and crazy and funny. thanks for making me smile. thanks for letting me use your shoulder to cry on. your the best. dad, thanks for letting me cuddle with you when im sad. thanks for always listening and being the best teddy bear ever!!!! DUCKIE!!!! thanks for being a jerk... lol jk jk. i still love u even though u kick me out of your room. i love you and you are my true best friend. and my little brothers... thanks for just smiling at me when i cry and giving me random hugs and kisses. i love you all so much.
lastly a shout out to a very special person in my life. i am so glad that i met you and that you have been in my life. thank you for all the best advice i have ever gotten for you. thanks for praying for a blizzard even though you dont like the snow. thanks for making me cry out of happiness instead of a broken heart. thanks for giving me passes to class and letting me sit in your room when i dont want to go to class. you are truly my hero. thanks you.

"if you could just step into my shoes and see the way i see you for one day, then you would know how amazing you are. i would be honored for you to be my daughter. i would take you in a heartbeat. i love you and you are strong."
-someone who made me feel worthwhile <3

well i love you all and i hope that you are having an amazing life... hearts!!!

me <3